Self Approved...

reign of fire

photography by sweetmango

It is not about the struggles that we face.  For every terrible experience that we have there is an even worse one yet to be heard.  It is not about who did what and when and how  It is not about what they should have done or not done. It is not about what you deserved or did not deserve.  It is not about any of those things.
It is merely about your perception of your environment and your perception of what occurred

You cannot change the people around you.  You cannot rewind time and step away from that impending experience or trauma that changed your life so tangibly and completely.  You cannot pick up all the hurtful words that have come your way and tie them up in a rubbish bag and remove them from your existence.

You can however, come to the understanding that what was offered to you were opportunities for growth.

No, it was not fair what happened to you.  Yes it was horrific or cruel or just plain mean.  I know you don't understand why it happened.  But from the ruins you can do one of two things.  You can sit and look at your life in smouldering piles and amid the ruins you can remain, bitter and angry and shaking your fist at an enemy long departed.
or
you can take a big breath and clear out all the rubbish left from your old life and then you can start rebuilding yourself again.  Only this time you can do it consciously knowing that as you sift through the old version of you  you have the power, the choice to keep what works and leave behind what no longer works for you.  Bit by bit, piece by piece you can build a 'self-approved' YOU.

Self approved, now isn't that a beautiful way to live.

Self approved means that you are no longer a victim.  Whether it be the victim of another persons actions, or the victim of the decisions of a company or  the victim of a situation of which you have or had no control.  Self approved means you accept all challenges on your terms.  Self approved means that we understand that while negative experiences exist and will always be coming our way, it is entirely up to us whether or not we become the victim or the scholar.

In being the victim we assign blame to another person.  In assigning blame to another person we are telling the universe that that person and only that person can rectify this situation.  By assigning that responsibility to the aggressor you will never be free for you have willingly handed your power into the hands of your perceived enemy (a person, a situation, god ...whomever or whatever you have handed the blame to).

True freedom exists when you change your perception.  When you take back control.  When you relinquish the need to blame knowing that it will never heal you.  When you give up the desire for answers from an enemy that doesn't even understand themselves, let alone their actions.  When you can put the focus back on you instead of having it on them.  When you can do that then the healing will begin.  When you do that the answers will come.  When you do that the knowledge you will gain will free you, finally, from your (you will come to understand that it was really) your own self imposed cage.