"All blame is a waste of time...regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you"
~Wayne Dyer~
And that is a very profound truth. Blame is a distraction, that is all. We are trying unsuccessfully to distract ourselves from our own truths that we find most uncomfortable by assigning the cause of our suffering to another. We can blame all we want, we can blame him, her, them, God whomever we wish, but it does not change us or our situation. It doesn't even make us feel better, it only serves to delay the inevitable, that we must face our own truths. We are connected all of us. We make decisions along the way that affect everything in our life, that affect us now, or in 10 years or 50 years from now. We make some choices now that will continue to affect people well after we have left these physical bodies. Other people make decisions that affect us, in both subtle and profound ways, their choices can influence our own choices for the good or the bad. But we need to be aware that assigning blame will do nothing to resolve a situation or fix a situation. True strength of character lies in the understanding that assigning blame will never allow us to grow, it will not allow us to move forward and it will not release us from the pain. It is a complete waste of time, it is feeding energy into an already energy draining situation.
If you are separated or divorced, you can blame your ex for this and that and all it is doing is keeping you tied to the past, it is not allowing you to move forward into your new life. Whether you chose the separation is irrelevant, the fact still remains you are separated so the wise thing to do is accept what was, leave it where it belongs, in the past and move forward with open arms to the future, remember if you are carrying the hurts of the past, you have no way of embracing the future.
What if illness or death is taking its toll on you? You can blame yourself for past choices that may or may not have lead you to where you are or you can raise your fist to the sky and blame your God but both are a waste of time. At this point in time, it is no longer important why, or how you came to be on this path, the focus should shift to the path not the villages you passed through to reach this point. Blame will not help maintain a level of wellness, in fact it is extremely toxic to the physical body since blame falls under the category of anger which disturbs the delicate chemistry of the brain, disrupting normal bio chemical reactions that take place in the body's regulatory systems, it is most unwelcoming when you are fighting any sort of illness. Instead we must focus on what we can literally and physically can do to maintain a system of balance within the body to help counteract the illness.
If the illness is progressing to the natural conclusion to life that we must all face then so be it. Do not struggle, that is akin to fighting quicksand, you will only sink faster, instead lay back, it is what it is and nothing more than that. Keep your health as much as you are able, create and surround yourself with love, do not leave anything unsaid or undone, reach out to the place beyond despair and beyond hope, it is Love. Love does not live nor die it is an existence that flows within and without us, it is with and it is without form, it is all and nothing, full and empty. Reach out to everyone around you with love and most of all to yourself, love yourself for all you are, for all that you have been, for everything that shaped you to who you are, regardless of whether or not you were pounded, punched, dragged kicking and screaming, or loved and comforted, and educated, and lead gently by the hand, all of it shaped you to who you are.
Embrace it, rejoice it. The good, the bad, however you perceive it, because in the end it is just our perception of a situation that shapes our experiences.
Wayne Dyer also pointed out that "It takes much more courage, strength of character, and inner conviction to forgive than it does to hang on to low-energy feelings". That is another truth along our paths. I think that sometimes we are scared of spreading our wings and seeing just how far we can fly. We tend to have created a knack for underestimating our own strengths, our own ability to not only endure, but to soar higher than we seem to believe that we deserve. I have come to the conclusion long ago, that we are only given tests that equal our strengths and that if we remember this then we shall never be fearful of all that we face. We often admire the strength or courage of conviction of another but fail to realize that many are silently watching with wonder at our own strengths and convictions. We are all teachers, we are all students, we all teach and learn from each other. Do not underestimate your ability to move beyond blame, to move beyond all your fears, you have strengths in you, resources in you, that you have not even tapped into yet. You can conquer the negativity, what ever it may be in your thinking, in your living, whether it is profound or subtle, you have the ability to rise above it. It is called choice. Just choose differently to what you would normally do, do the opposite, life can be quite pleasantly surprising when you shake it up a little.
Finally, remember this .... It is always hardest for us to breath when we are not completely in the present moment, it is thoughts of future & past that take our breath away. Staying in the present moment is a practice, it is stopping for a second when we are beginning to stress on either the past or the future, what we need to do is remind ourselves that right here right now is all that exists. Thinking about a past event creates an energy in our body that is parallel to reliving the experience, cells in the body release hormones that reflect the same pattern that occurred when the incident occurred. We have lived it already, why do we wish to keep reliving a negative experience over and over? We need to choose to consciously remind ourselves that that moment has been and gone, that we are now right here right now, doing the dishes or driving the car or watering the plants whatever it is we are doing, that is all that exists. The future is not here so we need to stop creating the future in the present moment, we need to make plans and form goals for the future but once we have done that the future has no place in the present.
Be present, be without regret, be filled with and willing to both receive and give Love. Finally, forgive and let go; guilt, blame and anger are too heavy a burden to carry for any of us, they leave no room for lightness of being and it is in being light that we are truly living with Love.
xxsm
P.S If you have some time today, I would appreciate it if you could click on the PRAYERS section, it is located at the very top of the page, my friend Renee is struggling with some not so good news and she needs some love and strength sent her way. She really is a beautiful soul. Sheldon, pictured below, is her nephew, he now lives in the spaces between here and now, nestled in our hearts.
today I was thinking of Sheldon, sometimes I spend whole days thinking about him, he taught us how to live with love and acceptance and without the heaviness of blame or negativity. Thank you Sheldon you continue to teach me so much.
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