Mirror Mirror on the Wall

"If you cannot see your shadow you must be living in darkness"

....that is something that Deepak Chopra said a couple of days ago.  I love it, I love that in order to be standing in the light you must be able to see your shadow, which in reality is your own bit of darkness.  It is of course a metaphor for knowing our own weaknesses, the areas of ourselves that need to be addressed, that need to be cultivated in order for us to grow.

I have, of late, been forced to face my own shadow and address some parts of it in order to find some peace again in my life after what has been a very hectic year.  There is a rather nifty trick to understanding some of our own shortcomings, a quick study guide that allows us to very quickly and very deeply look into the depths of ourselves and see just who we really are, truly discover the parts of us that we do not admire.  The trick is this....  

Who annoys me? How do they annoy me, in what way?  What is it that they do that drives me crazy or makes me feel uncomfortable?  

You see those people my friends, they are a gift, a gem, those people in our lives who annoy us they are a gift from the universe, a text book, a unit, a subject on our Study of Life; the story of being Me (or You!).  You see what is happening is this; the universe is holding up a mirror for us to look into, to see who we are and if we like who we are or if we would like the opportunity to change ourselves, or a trait of ours that we find disagreeable.  I have found that sometimes I have to look very deeply within myself to find that trait which I find so abhorrent in another, but I have always found it, always, it is just that I must regard myself with profound honesty.  Yet each and every time there it is, hiding out, very quietly, in a corner of me, hoping I won't notice it, hoping I will just go away because that is what our natural reaction is to something we find abhorrent, we turn away, we back away, we try to forget we ever saw it.  But it will always remain with us and until we address it and make changes we will continue to be annoyed by the people around us who exhibit these same traits.  Ironically the Universe will ensure that we are always surrounded by people who hold the mirror up to us showing us who we really are until we have faced the truth that lies within.

When we do face our own truths as reflected by the people around us what happens? Well first of all you begin to understand yourself even more and in order for you to address the issue within yourself you need to understand why you are doing it, what justification are you giving to yourself or others to excuse the trait, the same trait that you will not excuse in another....you often hear it expressed something like this.....

"Now I'm not a gossip, I cant stand gossip, BUT..... (and then comes the justification)..... BUT I just don't know what to think, maybe you can help me, you see the other day I heard that Mary was" ...... and off they go doing the thing that they detest so much in another.

Once we look honestly within ourselves we begin to see IT and we begin to watch IT and watch for IT happening, and when IT does and we are aware of IT we begin to cringe, and then slowly but surely we begin to CHANGE the HABIT. Because my friends that is all that it really is.... a habit.  Don't be disheartened if the attempts to change a behavioral pattern don't always work, remember it took awhile to create the habit now it will take a while to break the habit.  It is in being AWARE that allows us true freedom from the chains that we create, it is in being AWARE that we are able to live a lighter life, it is in being AWARE that compassion and understanding and unconditional love are formed.

For once we have seen in ourselves the Who, What, Why and Where of our own negative traits we are much more able to understand in another what is occurring within them to make them act the way they do and we will be far less likely to judge another when we have been honest enough to understand ourselves.  It is from Understanding that Compassion is formed and it is from Compassion that Unconditional Love flows and it is within Unconditional Love that we find true Happiness and Peace.

So I have faced a few of my own mirrors and although what was reflected back was not so bad, it was something that annoyed me in others and therefore in myself.  Now, at the end of the process, I understand why people were doing what they were doing, that does not necessarily mean accepting it in another, it just means that we will no longer be driven to angst, anger, sadness etc by these actions in others, for we will begin to see them in a new light and with new understanding, we will be able to relate to them on a new level and most importantly we will lead by example.

The key is this, be honest, with yourself, you don't need to tell anyone else about the things you find within, but be honest with yourself, even when it is something you don't like because it is when we face the things that we fear the most that we grow the most.  So come on, lets all grow, let us together be a veritable forest of truth and love and compassion, after all it only takes a seed of an idea to start the process.

This same principle also applies to those who cross our paths whom we admire, when someone does, says or shows a trait that you like, that makes you feel good then practice emulating it to others around you.  This is the sort of habit we wish to cultivate and all habits require practice

Love to you all

xxsm