I am a version of you and you are a version of me...

'one of many'

photography by sweetmango

Lets explore this idea a little further. Yesterday I opened the topic with a broad base of discussion revolving around the idea that our dreams and desires are a result of our fears. I loved the plethora of comments and emails sent to me, such a diverse body of thought, wonderful!

First of all I am no different to any of you out there. We are the same. I believe that with my whole heart.... yes, I am sweetmango and yes I look, speak and act differently to you all but that just makes me merely a version of you, although we share different thoughts, tastes, ideas etc I am still merely a version of you. Because here is the thing, I am just like you in the most fundamental of ways. My basic needs and desires are the same as yours.

I need food, water and shelter.

I desire love, security and happiness.

and I also need to feel that I make a meaningful contribution to 'Life' in some significant way because you see the thing is this; People need to feel like they are valued, like they are relied upon to make a positive difference in the lives of others, in this world ... their 'reason for being'.

Now tell me you do not have those things as your fundamental basis on this journey called life?

So when I concede that we are all fundamentally the same, just versions of each other I am then able to view my world and the people around me in a much different way. I am able to view every living thing on this planet with loving compassion. I want you to have what i need, I want you to have what I desire .... because we are the same. If you have those fundementals, if each and every one of you is able to be provided with, or to provide yourselves with those basics, then there would be no aggression .... so long as each of us understands that we all need and desire the same things.... so long as each of us understands that we are all versions of each other ... so long as we all view the world and those who inhabit it with unconditional love and understanding.

I know, I know .... I can hear some of you saying, "but that will never happen, there will always be aggression in the world, fighting, wars etc." Here is the thing, I truly believe with my whole heart that we are all capable of non violence, even the most violent amongst us. I believe in this very strongly because of the precept of unconditional loving compassion. How? Like this....

Some may see the hardened criminal behind bars, we hear the crime and cringe and thank god he is locked away and thank god it did not happen to us.
I see not that moment in time but ALL the moments that lead up to the present moment and I see a young child, a little 4 year old boy, who had terrible things perpetrated to him, in dark rooms behind closed doors. Or the little boy who was neglected in the most horrible of ways, or the little boy who was told over and over that he was useless that he would amount to nothing, or the little boy who's only real role model was a violent person (violence begets violence, anger begets anger etc) . Then, when I see the child of the man, the path that was traveled to this point in time I am able to understand with loving compassion. That does not mean that I agree with the violence or aggression, it just means that I am able to understand to some degree how this all really began.
When a persons basic needs and then their basic desires are not being met they react with anger. They have angry mannerisms, angry speech, angry actions. The person who has the needs and desires met is much more likely to be able to handle the crises in their lives with much more calmness and from a much more centred state of mind, state of being and therefore a much more centred state of doing.

Perspective is my very best friend, well next to Stellan :)
Perspective is what gets me through every thing, good or bad, big or small etc. Once you have perspective you will gain gratitude, real gratitude. The thing with perspective is this ... you really understand that every single second of every single day no matter what is happening to you, regardless of your circumstances, no matter how wonderful or how devastating ... it could always be better or worse. Thats it.

You see right now, I am in bed typing this on a laptop, I have a beautiful room, I am full from dinner, I am drinking a herbal tea made from clean water, the children and animals whom I love and who love me in return are sleeping in various rooms around my house, my ears are filled with the sounds of beautiful music and the gentle snores of Stellan as he dreams his way into tomorrow, I feel safe, loved and I feel needed, I know that I am affecting in positive ways certain people in this world and that those people want me and need me and love me....I am respected and needed and loved.

Well first of all, if I am honest with you, right now as I type this part, I literally had to stop for a second and give thanks, I really did, I mean WOW, even when I write it down I am dumbfounded by my fortune, I am GRATEFUL.
I even say that to people, I mean it on the deepest level when i tell them that "I am so, so grateful to have you in my life, as a part of my journey". I even say it out loud when i am by myself, "I am grateful" I will say to myself and whichever Gods are listening at that time, "I am grateful, for all that I have, for all that is yet to come and for all of the lessons that unfold in my life, I am grateful".

and I really am, really to the core, grateful.

...because although it could always be better.... oh my, it could always be worse .... and should it happen to get 'worse', well then folks it could always be, well ... worse!

But if we tie in yesterdays post then we take our basic needs and basic desires and lets say for instance that we do not have enough money to provide adequate food and shelter, this would leave us living in a state of fear would it not? So we have some immediate options, we can hold that fear close to our chests and continue living in fear and doing nothing about it, except complain and bemoan our state of affairs or we can hold that fear close to our chests and react with anger at this injustice laid upon us and direct anger all around us ... or .... we can take that fear and use it to bring into our lives what it is that we require, use it as our incentive to gain what is missing. Use it as a tool that drives us forward and in doing so, it takes us further away from the state of being that left us minus a genuine need or desire.

This can be applied to any part of our lives, not just the basic needs and desires. Your dream job, a new direction, serious illness, anything and everything. You use the fear to propel you forward, you look at the fear as being the complete opposite of your actual need or desire, that in order to leave the fear behind it must be replaced and the only thing each fear can be replaced with is the opposite of that fear, nothing more and nothing less will do.

So, do we still require fight and flight? Yes we do, there are people out there, those little boys and girls who were mistreated and never given a fair go, they were never offered a hand and they never had anyone tell them that they were needed, that they had a vital and important role in this world and so their fears see them reacting and acting out in anger. So yes we do need to continue to carry fight or flight with us, however we also need to carry equal amounts of unconditional loving compassion on our journey, so that in our encounters with others along our path, those we know and those who are complete strangers, we are able to look at them through unbiased eyes, we are able to look them in the eye, smile at them and notice them and wherever possible encourage them or thank them and be grateful for them ... you really just don't know how big a difference you can make in a moment in the life of another person, even a stranger.
Because lets face it, in the end, we are not strangers we are just versions of each other and we all need to be encouraged to be our very best.

I am grateful for each and every one of you, i really, really am, you all give me more than you know, you are all making a wonderful contribution in my life, ALL OF YOU.
You are all loved.
Namaste
sm